pluiepoco

What's Love?

A song said, love is a secondhand emotion
Chinese fashion guys say, love is a severe madness.
Scientists say, love is a bio-chemical reaction.

But what do you think of it?

My parents don't have love before their marriage, it was their age of life when everything is commune, and everyone is poor.

They don't know love, and to them, love after marrigage is every small things, like cooking a meal, washing clothes, cleaning the house, or co-nurturing children... very ordinary and boring housework or job.

Maybe , things got to be different from China to the overseas. I'm guessing about your love conditions. But I just want to share mine here:

In today's China, young people can enjoy love at a considerable early age, for my generation after 1980s, knowing of love begins after middle school, even at that time physical love (I mean premarital sex) is prohibitted by common social senses. Most of our generation have to begin love after adult age, maybe after 18 or so. Young people know what love means, but it needs material basis, that is, when a man loves a woman, it's still pending whather they should go to marry or not, because there are economic or social differences between their two backgrounds. They must fit, or be equal. Then their marriage can be deemed acceptable.

For guys younger than our generation, i.e. that of 1990s generation, they know sex quite earlier before knowing love. Some even experienced in primary school! Leave it undone, I just want to tell mine;

Things got complicated, because today everyone is busy making money or earning a living. Many of us don't plan to marry, because it will cost high, think of what would be bought before marriage? House including fine furniture and appliances, car, enough deposit at bank, or rather holding a company (that's even better for us men, because business success means a lot to a Chinese good man ). Women would not dream of so many, but they still thinks alot. They are dreaming to have a successful husband, with enough glories and sucesses, and money . Love means more than an emotion, love costs more than a heart, love can be very heavy, or can be very light.

Everyone must first earn enough money to live superb in the world, then He can consider to marry. Like me, as a man . I don't like money at all, but without money, love is superficial.

Maybe, I mistook love by marriage, but to me and many good Chinese men , love=marriage; if you are not restricted by this formula, OK, I don't disagree, but you are not serious, even if many Chinese men and women also have to live this "love", how should I say :

GO TO MAKE LOVE WITH ANYONE, AND THEN LEAVE,
THAT'S LOVE WITHOUT MARRIAGE?

I just doubt this kind of love, is it real?

I perceive this phenomenon, but it's not me. I obey the rule, love is marriage.

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刘晓雨 pluiepoco
Home of Asia, 中国语言论坛(Chinese Forum of Languages), 西瓜村

chinoise

Sorry to be direct. Do you have someone in mind but dare not chase after her because you're thinking about the responsibilites and your economic condition?

pluiepoco

Yes, that's materially true. But here I want to discuss in a public scale, not a private one, and I don't want to publicise my privacy here

Yet, you are quite smart to know my secret, even it's only one part of the truth. I'm exploring my love on the way to spiritual maturity. Things can be simple or difficult, but certainly more complicated.

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刘晓雨 pluiepoco
Home of Asia, 中国语言论坛(Chinese Forum of Languages), 西瓜村

chinoise

Sorry, no attempt to explore you privacy. Let me share a little of my experience. Money is a very important factor, the moment you start dating. When the relationship is steady, you'll start saving up for the marriage and the house. When you have a kid, you'll have to save for his/her education. In short, once you get married, everything becomes materialistic. Many guys will save up before thinking about dating, not before 30 years old. Believe me, life is very miserable without money.

pluiepoco

I believe you, but what is those guys who even save up before "thinking about" dating !

And more, what's "not before 30 years old"? I'll be 24 quite soon this year, and it's near up to 30 years later, I feel the time is pressing!

Before you advise, I never thought of saving money !

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刘晓雨 pluiepoco
Home of Asia, 中国语言论坛(Chinese Forum of Languages), 西瓜村

monia

Do you have ever experiense such thing:though he is not handsome,not witty,but just love him,for his sunny,for his smile.But suddenly one day had to live in another city.you cried and cried but he didn't know this even didn't know you love him.3years later you came back,but all's changed,you feel very sad.Maybe you will think it's vulgar but it's my experience,it's true

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Monia