catlovesjam

Let me make a little correction. If you want to be absolutely exact in using the current name of the woman, you don't have to decline last name:

Ïîñâÿùàåòñÿ Åëåíå Âëàäèìèðå Íèíåëü Êðàâöîâ: ....etc.

But it will not sound good for other Russians, because 99% of Russians have no idea about using such kind of last name as foreing name. So if you want it also be accepted normally by other Russians, you better use correct feminin ending -à, so you'll get the "normal" feminin Russian last name "Êðàâöîâà". But then you'll have to decline it in correct way, so the result will be:

Ïîñâÿùàåòñÿ Åëåíå Âëàäèìèðå Íèíåëü Êðàâöîâîé: .... etc.

Also, if you don't mind, I'd like to tell you my opinion about your choice. If you love this lady, and she knows it (or you want her to know that), then you better use second variant with changed quotation. It is sort of "swearing" to love forever ;-). But if you just like her (I mean that there is no that kind of love which leads to marriage etc), then you better use first - because it is more neutral, and in fact it is just beautiful declaration of the wish that somebody someday will make this wonderful lady happy. It's just my opinion.

birdman

Yes.
'кто влюблен и всерьез,
Свою жизнь для тебя превратит в цветы.'
sounds more like a normal Russian 'quote'
wheras
'Кто влюблен, кто влюблен, кто влюблен и всерьез,
Свою жизнь для тебя превратит в цветы.'
is more recognisably part of a song.

As I would understand it Кто could refer to you but dosen't necessarily.


Just one final point about the name:
If the second name is a patronymic then maybe it should be: Владимировне (Vladimirovna). However if it's a second given name (or is now used as such) then it's: Владимире (Vladimira).

Sinocelt

I thank you for your advice. I don't think I'd be able to make her happy, but I wish her to be, so I'll go with the first option:

Ïîñâÿùàåòñÿ Åëåíå Âëàäèìèðå Íèíåëü Êðàâöîâîé:
Êòî âëþáëåí, êòî âëþáëåí, êòî âëþáëåí è âñåðüåç,
Ñâîþ æèçíü äëÿ òåáÿ ïðåâðàòèò â öâåòû.

Sorry for my long silence. The academic year ends in June here and I was swamped under copies to correct. I'm nearly done with my short story, however, although "short" has become quite of a misnomer. My editor has given me more time to finish it, but its very length (more than 8000 words already) may cost the story its place in the anthology. The first part of the story is quite good, by my standards; the second a lot less so; as for the third, it's better than the second, but mostly the impact will depend on how tightly I can weave the last section -- the one I should be currently writing.

I intend to write an English version too, though I've currently promised texts right and left, so it may take some time before I can get to it.

Once again, thank you much for your help. This dedication is important to me.

Sinocelt

It is (now, at least) her second given name. Thank you for thinking about everything; this dedication is important to me and it would have been so easy for me to screw it up!

Sinocelt

Your hard work hasn't been in vain: my story will be published! I've just received the editor's email, a few minutes ago. I'll have to make some modifications here and there, but my fears that my text would be rejected from the bat because of it length (more than ten thousand words) have now been allayed. The editor isn't adverse to publishing a dedication in Russian either, though she asked me to translate it for her so she'd know what she's going to print. I'll do it, of course, at the same time I make the requested modifications to the story. I also hope to find the time to write an English version of it, so maybe one day you'll be able to read what you helped write a dedication for.

Cloelia

Congratulations Sinocelt! Not everybody gets his work published so your stories must be good. Will this first version be published in Chinese?

birdman

Congratulations! I hope your friend will like it too!

Why Chinese? Oh, I see. Sinocelt=Le celte chinois?