english summary

kanamalo · 07-21-2008, 12:09 PM

hello everybody, I'm French and I wrote a summary of my work placement. I need some help to correct my english.
Thank you

SUMMARY

Over the two years of the Master Langues Aménagement et Développement Européen, each student have to realize two work placements at the end of every academic year. One of these stages have to be completed abroad. For my first professional experience, I decided to go in Italy, in the region of Abruzzo. I made several applications for a work placement to city hall and services of the Regione Abruzzo ( an administrative division of the Italian state). I choose this region because I studied for one year at L'Aquila, the capital of Abruzzo.
I received one response, from the department «*Sviluppo del turismo*» (“Tourism Development*“) of the region Abruzzo. It is located at Pescara, the second city of the region. This service, managing by Antonio Bini also my responsible for my stage, is responsible for the promotion of tourism an have several purposes:

to collect informations about the tourists in the region, like age, status, type of tourism they made, etc...,

to participate to cultural or sportive manifestations, as a Jazz Festival or the Mediterranean Games of 2009, etc....,

to realize projects for a best knowledge of the region, for example the housing project InvestAbruzzo bound to the rebirth of desert villages or publicity in newspapers, etc...

Before my departure, the department “Tourism Development”, the university and me signed a work placement agreement.

It was also decided my future assignments; the main one was a research work on the French newspapers, notably thanks to Internet.
At the beginning, I was looking for every article mentioning the region Abruzzo. Later, my responsible tell me to target my research. That is why I concentrated on one subject; the nature of the region. I decided to make a portfolio about a French film partly shot in Abruzzo, to see what the French press said about this Italian region, the response is next to nothing.
Secondly, I studied the return of the wolf in France and its consequences. I analyzed also methods to live with this animal and politics in the two country, France and Italy. The conclusion is that one country accepted the wolf because it never lives the Italian territory whereas in France, it is more complicated, people have to learn again how to coexist with it.
In addition, I noticed on websites that many people wanted to see wolves, bear and other wild animal in their natural habitation. So my third work was to make an analysis of the trips proposed to discover and to observe wild animals in Abruzzo, a park region since it is composed of three national parks, one regional and numerous wildlife preserves.
Finally, I can say that all this assignments lead me up to make some translation, from French to Italian.

The results of this work placement is that I didn't learnt a lot. All what I did was for my personal knowledge and it will not be of service to the department “Tourism Development”.
Even if my responsible was present, I didn't make something interesting that improve my university education. I would prefer participate to a project, like the preparation of a cultural event. I think that for my second internship , the next year, I will point on something less administrative, as a consulting firm.

Thank you again

Reda's · 07-21-2008, 01:34 PM

Bonne lettre je trouve, mais
_ Évite les accents
_ Il y a quelques fautes de temps
Ex : Later, my responsible tell me to target my research
Je pense que c'est Later, my responsible told me ...
Evite les tournures du genre "Is that" c'est pas très beau...
Varie, tu peux mettre "to" & In order to,
_ Tu fais trop de fautes de pluriel, prend le temps de te relire, tu oublie soit des "s", "ies" ect...
Ajoute des adverbes comme Moreover, Futhermore, then ...

Enfin je pense que le thank you again est un peu famillier, ça n'engage que moi, j'aurais plutôt mis " regards " ( cordialement )
Voila, je sais j'ai du me planter, mais on me corrigera...
J'ai pas tout lu en détail... Osef xD

PS : Two countries !
Ect... = and so on ...

Cinema · 07-21-2008, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kanamalo

hello everybody, I'm French and I wrote a summary of my work placement. I need some help to correct my english.
Thank you

SUMMARY

Over the two years with the Master Langues Aménagement et Développement Européen, each student has to complete two work placements at the end of every academic year. One of these stages has to be completed abroad. For my first professional experience, I decided to go to Italy, in the region of Abruzzo. I sent several application's for work placement to city hall, and service's of the Regione Abruzzo ( an administrative division of the Italian state). I chose this region because I studied for one year at L'Aquila, the capital of Abruzzo.

I received one response from the department of «*Sviluppo del turismo*» (“Tourism Development*“) of the region Abruzzo. It is located at Pescara, the second city of the region. This service is managed by Antonio Bini, whom is also my responsible for my stage. His responsibiltes also include:

Collecting information about the tourists in the region, like age, status, type of tourism they made, etc.

Participating in cultural or sporting manifestations, for example, Jazz Festival's or the Mediterranean Games of 2009.

Creating projects for other's to learn the region a litlle better, for example, the housing project InvestAbruzzo bound to the rebirth of desert villages or publicity in newspapers, etc.

Before my departure, the department of “Tourism Development” with the university, will sign me a work placement agreement.

My future assignments have already been decided, the main one was for research work on the French newspapers, many thanks to Internet.
At the beginning, I was looking for every article mentioning the region Abruzzo. My responsibity will eventually tell me to target my research. That is why I concentrated on one subject, the nature of the region.

I decided to make a portfolio about a French film partly shot in Abruzzo, to see what the French press says about this Italian region, the response is next to none.

Secondly, I studied "The Return of the Wolf" in France and its consequences. I also analyzed methods to live with this animal and politics in the two country, France and Italy. The conclusion is that one country accepted the wolf because it never leaves the Italian territory where as in France, it is more complicated, people have to learn again how to coexist with this animal.

In addition, I noticed on websites that many people would like to see wolves, bear, and other wild animal's in their natural habitation. So my third work assignment was to make an analysis of the trips proposed to discover and to observe wild animals in Abruzzo. Abruzzo is a park region that it is composed of three national parks, one regional and numerous other wildlife preserves.
Finally, I can say that all these assignment's lead me up to make some translation's, from French to Italian.

The results of this work assignment is that I did not learn too much. Everything I did was for my personal knowledge and it will not be of service to the department of “Tourism Development”.

Even if my responsibility was current, I did not find it interesting enough to improve my university education. I would much prefer participating in a project like the preparation of a cultural event. I think that for my second internship (next year) I will focus on something less administrative perhaps with a consulting firm.

Thank you again

I made many, many corrections in spelling and grammer. I hope you understand. I do many business letters here in US and always have to make letters and always make corrections. I hope you like it.

Cinema!

Cloelia · 07-21-2008, 09:37 PM

Reda's and Cinema! You have done a good job correcting this summary. Everything you told kanamalo is right, Reda's. As a teacher myself I would have made the same comments. ^^ And kanamalo, Cinema hasn't only corrected your faults he has also turned your summary into a good one with nice looking paragraphs. Before it was just a mess.

There is only one thing that I don't agree with you at all, Cinema and that is the apostrophe that you have put before the plural-s. The words should not be written: application's service's other's animal's assignment's translation's. Each apostrophe here should be deleted. The words should be spelled applications services others animals assignments translations.

greg1075 · 07-21-2008, 11:10 PM

Stage (fra) = Internship (Eng)

You might want to change that ASAP.

Also, using "Whom" in that sentence above is incorrect. "Who" should be used.

Cloelia · 07-22-2008, 12:10 AM

Yes of course the French "stage" shouldn't be used in the beginning as a synonym to internship in the end. How could I miss that one and also whom instead of who? Well I didn't read it carefully enough.

Reda's has already written PS: Two countries! And Cinema's ninth paragraph should be changed accordingly:
Secondly, I studied "The Return of the Wolf" in France and its consequences. I also analyzed methods to live with this animal and politics in the two countries, France and Italy. The conclusion is that one country accepted the wolf because it never leaves the Italian territory whereas in France, it is more complicated, people have to learn again how to coexist with this animal.

greg1075 · 07-22-2008, 03:55 AM

And the plural of application is indeed applications and not application's. Seriously...

07-21-2008, 12:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
kanamalo Junior Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 9 kanamalo is an unknown character at this point	english summary hello everybody, I'm French and I wrote a summary of my work placement. I need some help to correct my english. Thank you SUMMARY Over the two years of the Master Langues Aménagement et Développement Européen, each student have to realize two work placements at the end of every academic year. One of these stages have to be completed abroad. For my first professional experience, I decided to go in Italy, in the region of Abruzzo. I made several applications for a work placement to city hall and services of the Regione Abruzzo ( an administrative division of the Italian state). I choose this region because I studied for one year at L'Aquila, the capital of Abruzzo. I received one response, from the department «Sviluppo del turismo» (“Tourism Development*“) of the region Abruzzo. It is located at Pescara, the second city of the region. This service, managing by Antonio Bini also my responsible for my stage, is responsible for the promotion of tourism an have several purposes: to collect informations about the tourists in the region, like age, status, type of tourism they made, etc..., to participate to cultural or sportive manifestations, as a Jazz Festival or the Mediterranean Games of 2009, etc...., to realize projects for a best knowledge of the region, for example the housing project InvestAbruzzo bound to the rebirth of desert villages or publicity in newspapers, etc... Before my departure, the department “Tourism Development”, the university and me signed a work placement agreement. It was also decided my future assignments; the main one was a research work on the French newspapers, notably thanks to Internet. At the beginning, I was looking for every article mentioning the region Abruzzo. Later, my responsible tell me to target my research. That is why I concentrated on one subject; the nature of the region. I decided to make a portfolio about a French film partly shot in Abruzzo, to see what the French press said about this Italian region, the response is next to nothing. Secondly, I studied the return of the wolf in France and its consequences. I analyzed also methods to live with this animal and politics in the two country, France and Italy. The conclusion is that one country accepted the wolf because it never lives the Italian territory whereas in France, it is more complicated, people have to learn again how to coexist with it. In addition, I noticed on websites that many people wanted to see wolves, bear and other wild animal in their natural habitation. So my third work was to make an analysis of the trips proposed to discover and to observe wild animals in Abruzzo, a park region since it is composed of three national parks, one regional and numerous wildlife preserves. Finally, I can say that all this assignments lead me up to make some translation, from French to Italian. The results of this work placement is that I didn't learnt a lot. All what I did was for my personal knowledge and it will not be of service to the department “Tourism Development”. Even if my responsible was present, I didn't make something interesting that improve my university education. I would prefer participate to a project, like the preparation of a cultural event. I think that for my second internship , the next year, I will point on something less administrative, as a consulting firm. Thank you again
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07-21-2008, 01:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
Reda's Growing Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 22 Reda's is an unknown character at this point	Bonne lettre je trouve, mais _ Évite les accents _ Il y a quelques fautes de temps Ex : Later, my responsible tell me to target my research Je pense que c'est Later, my responsible told me ... Evite les tournures du genre "Is that" c'est pas très beau... Varie, tu peux mettre "to" & In order to, _ Tu fais trop de fautes de pluriel, prend le temps de te relire, tu oublie soit des "s", "ies" ect... Ajoute des adverbes comme Moreover, Futhermore, then ... Enfin je pense que le thank you again est un peu famillier, ça n'engage que moi, j'aurais plutôt mis " regards " ( cordialement ) Voila, je sais j'ai du me planter, mais on me corrigera... J'ai pas tout lu en détail... Osef xD PS : Two countries ! Ect... = and so on ... Last edited by Reda's; 07-21-2008 at 02:47 PM.
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07-21-2008, 09:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
Cloelia International Forum Fan Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 501 Cloelia is learning to walk	Reda's and Cinema! You have done a good job correcting this summary. Everything you told kanamalo is right, Reda's. As a teacher myself I would have made the same comments. ^^ And kanamalo, Cinema hasn't only corrected your faults he has also turned your summary into a good one with nice looking paragraphs. Before it was just a mess. There is only one thing that I don't agree with you at all, Cinema and that is the apostrophe that you have put before the plural-s. The words should not be written: application's service's other's animal's assignment's translation's. Each apostrophe here should be deleted. The words should be spelled applications services others animals assignments translations. Last edited by Cloelia; 07-22-2008 at 12:08 AM.
(Offline)

07-21-2008, 11:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
greg1075 Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 50 greg1075 is learning to walk	Stage (fra) = Internship (Eng) You might want to change that ASAP. Also, using "Whom" in that sentence above is incorrect. "Who" should be used.
(Offline)

07-22-2008, 12:10 AM	#6 (permalink)
Cloelia International Forum Fan Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 501 Cloelia is learning to walk	Yes of course the French "stage" shouldn't be used in the beginning as a synonym to internship in the end. How could I miss that one and also whom instead of who? Well I didn't read it carefully enough. Reda's has already written PS: Two countries! And Cinema's ninth paragraph should be changed accordingly: Secondly, I studied "The Return of the Wolf" in France and its consequences. I also analyzed methods to live with this animal and politics in the two countries, France and Italy. The conclusion is that one country accepted the wolf because it never leaves the Italian territory whereas in France, it is more complicated, people have to learn again how to coexist with this animal.
(Offline)

07-22-2008, 03:55 AM	#7 (permalink)
greg1075 Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 50 greg1075 is learning to walk	And the plural of application is indeed applications and not application's. Seriously...
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