Nok

Hey
I had to write an essay for school, and the text is just below. Before to give it back to my teacher, I would like to know if I did mistakes, so it would be great if someone could read it and tell me


Thanks a lot!

jierbe31

Hey,
I had to write an essay for school, and the text is just below. Before <to> giving <(gérondif après une préposition) it back to my teacher, I would like to know if I <did> made mistakes. So it would be great if someone could read it and tell me.


Citation:
I was in my room, listening to some music. It was around 11:00 pm. I was alone: my parents had left on a trip. All of a sudden, I heard a knock on the front door. Who could it be at that late hour? I went downstairs and opened the door. There he was, standing out on the porch, his body shaking, his skirt splattered with blood. Mathieu, help me, please, for God's sake! Help me.

I couldn't say a word, I couldn't believe what I was seeing, he was there, on the porch, he was looking at me straight in the eyes. I thought « What the hell?!! ». Was I dreaming? It was John, my old friend. I thought I was going crazy. This guy had died in a car crash three years ago. I wondered if it was a bad joke, or some nightmare. I didn't know what to do, what to say. I laughed, and asked him : « Haha. Very funny, and whose joke is it? Are you taking me for a fool? ». I was waiting for an answer, any kind of answer. But he didn't say anything and was still looking at me seriously. All I heard were whisperings, coming from the garden. I couldn't see anything except his face, lights by the lamp, there was blood on the ground, it smelled like rot. Suddenly, he moved his arm. He smiled : « Hi Mathieu ». He seemed surprised by my reaction. Then he added « How are you? ».

I told him « how stupid do you think I am? You can't be real, it's just impossible ».
He came to me, still looking at me, slapped me.
« And yet... I don't know Mathieu, how stupid are you? »
I closed my eyes, then opened them. He was still there.
- « Then what do you want? »
- « What do I want? Mathieu, I just wanna talk with you »
« Talk with me? At 11:00, right here, right now, <at> in the middle of the night? Hey, what's going on here? Are you crazy? What happened, what's this blood? »
«This blood, what blood? What's going on with you? It's the first time you've spoken to me like that. You know what, forget it, you must be tired, I'm <coming> going back home. I'll call you tomorrow. Have a good night ».
He turned around and walked along the fence.
« Hey John, stay here, I wanna know ».
« Wanna know what? »
« I wanna know how it is possible for someone who died in a car crash three years ago to be here, alive, speaking to me ».
« Don't you understand Mathieu? » He said slowly, looking at me straight in the eyes, with some kind of sympathy.
« I maybe died some years ago, I don't know, but the fact is I'm still here. And you're here too, right in front of me.
« And so what? »
« And so what?! So you really don't understand Mathieu! »
He thought for a few seconds, looked down at the ground, or maybe at his feet<s>. Then he looked back at me <back> and added:
« Mathieu... I'm so sorry but... »
« But what? » I asked nervously.
« Mathieu, you just died! »

My legs were shaking, I couldn't say a word, it was harder and harder for me to breathe. I could no longer feel my arms and my legs. I had no more strength to stay on my feet. My heart was beating faster and faster. Suddenly, I didn't hear it anymore, didn't see anything, anymore. Did I die? Did I wake up?
Thanks a lot!

* I enjoyed reading you.

Nok

Merci beaucoup pour ton aide!! Rapide en plus

jierbe31

Quand le texte est de qualité, je n'ai pas grand mérite.

Nok

Hehe merci j'espère que la prof pensera pareil

jierbe31

I hope so too.