Hello Quelqu'un peut me corriger mes fautes ? (correct my misyakes!)(URGENT :(

lolo1111 · 01-22-2008, 08:12 PM

Ce serait gentil si quelqu'un pouvait me corriger mes fautes d'anglais.
Thank YOU

The text is an extract from a short story Lone-ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven which was written by Serman Alexie in 1993.
This is a first-person narrative. The two main characters are the narrator and his father.
The scene takes place during the winter after a basket-ballgame. It's in the USA in the father's car's narrator on the highway.
The text deals with a discussion between a son and his father about war and peace during they listen to Jimi Hendrix.
The first part of the comment treat two characters and their relation. Then, the second part is about the discussion and the discussion's cause.

Firstly, we learn a few things about the narrator. We know that the narrator is a young Indian. He has not opinion on Jimi Hendrix; but after The Star-Spangled Banner and the discussion with his father, he will like Hendrix !
Then, as regards a father, he must be in his forties. The father is often drunk. And he isn't a talkative. This can be noticed in line 3 : « My father didn't talk much when he was sober ». In addition to that he likes J. Hendrix...

Secondly; we will speak about the discussion. It is a conversation between a narrator and his father. They tackle the problem of war and peace.
The father and his son have this conversation because there is a special atmosphere : in fact it snow, they are in the car in a near-blizzard and especially there is the sound of the J.Hendrix's guitar...
The son thinks that his generation of indian had any real war to fight, he has a complex of inferiority. The father thinks it's preposterous, the narrator tell that his father laughed for a time (l.29).

On the whole, the text can be sum up with a last sentence " music had powerful medicine". Thanks to the music and to J.Hendrix, the narrator and his father could have a serious and philosophic conversation and the music cured the narrator of his complex.
What the author writes here seems quite right to me : the music can help to speak, because we feel better.
Furthermore, I find this text pleasant to read, I appreciate the humour passages on the Indians. The author overstates about prejudiced. Let us take examples : « Indians don't need to talk to communicate »l.4 or « it's in a book doesn't make it not true »l.43.

banane82 · 01-23-2008, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lolo1111

Ce serait gentil si quelqu'un pouvait me corriger mes fautes d'anglais.
Thank YOU

THIS text is an extract from a short story :Lone-ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven which was written by Serman Alexie in 1993.
IT IS NARRATED IN THE FIRST PERSON. The two main characters are the narrator and his father.
The scene takes place during winter after a basket-ball game. It's in USA in the FATHER'S NARRATOR CAR on the highway.
The text deals with a discussion between a son and his father about war and peace during they ARE LISTENING to Jimi Hendrix.
The COMMENT'S FIRST PART treatS two characters and their relationSHIP.
( On en commence jamais une phrase par THEN ) The second part is about the discussion and ITS CAUSE.

Firstly, we learn a few things about the narrator. We know the narrator is a young Indian. He has NO opinion ABOUT Jimi Hendrix; but after The Star-Spangled Banner and the discussion with his father, he will like Hendrix !
As regards HIS father, he must be in his forties. The father is often drunk. And he isn't talkative. This can be noticed in line 3 : « My father didn't talk much when he was sober ». In addition, he likes J. Hendrix...

Secondly; we'LL TALK about the discussion. ( tu te répètes

) They tackle the problem of war and peace.
The father and his son have this conversation because OF THE WEIRD WEATHER OUTSIDE : it'S snowING, they are in the car in a near-blizzard WITH the sound of the J.Hendrix's guitar...
The son thinks that his generation of indian haS NO real war to fight FOR, he has a INFERIORITY COMPLEX. The father thinks it's preposterous, the narrator tellS US that his father laughed for a time (l.29).

On the whole, the text can be sum up with THE last sentence " music had powerful medicine". Thanks to the music and to J.Hendrix, the narrator and his father could have a serious and philosophic conversation and the music cured the narrator of his complexES.
What the author wrOTE here FEELS quite right to me : the music can help SPEAKING, because we feel better.
Furthermore, I find this text pleasant to read, I appreciate the humour passages ABOUT Indians. The author overstates about prejudiceS. Let'S take SOME examples : « Indians don't need to talk to communicate »l.4 or « it's in a book doesn't make it not true »l.43.

Les modifications et els corrections sont en majuscules, bien squ eje ne soit pas totalement sure, vu que l'anglais n'ets pas ma langue maternelle.
Bonne continuation

lolo1111 · 01-24-2008, 02:03 PM

Merci beaucoup !!!!

banane82 · 01-24-2008, 07:31 PM

de rien, et bonne continuation :P

01-22-2008, 08:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
lolo1111 Growing Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: France Posts: 24 lolo1111 is an unknown character at this point	Hello Quelqu'un peut me corriger mes fautes ? (correct my misyakes!)(URGENT :( Ce serait gentil si quelqu'un pouvait me corriger mes fautes d'anglais. Thank YOU The text is an extract from a short story Lone-ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven which was written by Serman Alexie in 1993. This is a first-person narrative. The two main characters are the narrator and his father. The scene takes place during the winter after a basket-ballgame. It's in the USA in the father's car's narrator on the highway. The text deals with a discussion between a son and his father about war and peace during they listen to Jimi Hendrix. The first part of the comment treat two characters and their relation. Then, the second part is about the discussion and the discussion's cause. Firstly, we learn a few things about the narrator. We know that the narrator is a young Indian. He has not opinion on Jimi Hendrix; but after The Star-Spangled Banner and the discussion with his father, he will like Hendrix ! Then, as regards a father, he must be in his forties. The father is often drunk. And he isn't a talkative. This can be noticed in line 3 : « My father didn't talk much when he was sober ». In addition to that he likes J. Hendrix... Secondly; we will speak about the discussion. It is a conversation between a narrator and his father. They tackle the problem of war and peace. The father and his son have this conversation because there is a special atmosphere : in fact it snow, they are in the car in a near-blizzard and especially there is the sound of the J.Hendrix's guitar... The son thinks that his generation of indian had any real war to fight, he has a complex of inferiority. The father thinks it's preposterous, the narrator tell that his father laughed for a time (l.29). On the whole, the text can be sum up with a last sentence " music had powerful medicine". Thanks to the music and to J.Hendrix, the narrator and his father could have a serious and philosophic conversation and the music cured the narrator of his complex. What the author writes here seems quite right to me : the music can help to speak, because we feel better. Furthermore, I find this text pleasant to read, I appreciate the humour passages on the Indians. The author overstates about prejudiced. Let us take examples : « Indians don't need to talk to communicate »l.4 or « it's in a book doesn't make it not true »l.43.
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01-24-2008, 02:03 PM	#3 (permalink)
lolo1111 Growing Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: France Posts: 24 lolo1111 is an unknown character at this point	Merci beaucoup !!!!
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01-24-2008, 07:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
banane82 Traductrice en herbe Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Midi-Pyrénées Posts: 136 banane82 is an unknown character at this point	de rien, et bonne continuation :P __________________ C'est fou comme les rottweillers nains sont hargneux ces temps-ci. Ils lui ont piqués ses chaussures à talonnettes, c'est con.
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