perfection

well i'm new here and i need a correction, i wrote a song in english for the first time and i know that it countains a loooooooooot of mistakes well its not a nice song i just wrote it for 10mn so i wasnt concentrated :
NB: PLEASE IF YOU WANT TO ADD SOMETHING OR HAVE SOME IDEAS PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE
when i talk about my places
where you find a happier face
when the sun is always shining/when the sun always shines
since it's risen from the east
wming to warm up my window
until the sund be down in wave
the morning with unofficial wind
coming to clean my mind
to start a new day
to the field...i'm taking my way
CHORUS
dream or real i don't care
about life that i found fare
it's life that i choose
i'm happy in i don't wana lose

the field is covered with flowers
and trees are always green even in winter
with this nature i take my powers
like birds when they sing melodies
when they said their feelings
don't forced in having or quiting
even if they make love in freedom
as for us in home like them
the winter like summer
with my wife my flowers
with her i will never suffer
sur you will be father
CHORUS
and when the night
will open its nest
the moon's face exchange
appears in his silver throne
and keep circle with stars
when i'm sitting upon the moon
with my families chad stoon
listen to my famous music
rock n roll blus and soul
don't forget the jazz
that makes you zaz
CHORUS

VANESSA447

nice but i think that anyone could write something like that.... there's nothing special in it, well im not an expert in writing songs, i'm just saying that if you want to be a song writer you have to concentrate ,do your best and take all the time you need.

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