Correction d'un texte

Cacahuete586 · 01-30-2007, 02:31 PM

Bonjour,

Avant tout je me présente, je m'appel Pierre, j'ai 17 ans et je suis éléve en premiere STG. Je viens de découvrir ce forum et il est très bien conçu: l'entraide ! J'essayerai d'apporter de l'aide dans la section "espagnol" vu que je maitrise bien la langue

Voivi mon texte (c'est une description et analyse d'une photo); l'anglais par contre, pfiouuuu!

Quote:

We may deduce in this document is a picture because there as several plans was painting.
As in introduction, I can see a land empty, deserted, ti inspire the solitude.
Fiest, I can see a low horizon wich has a diferent meaning, it doesn't give an impression of escape because it leads to bad weather. The sky is transformed into a big stoned wall, like medieval prison.
Secondly, I can see a strange window in the middle of the wall because she starts on the grass and finishes in the window (in the sky, strange, no ?), it's abstract !
The wall seens take unbreakable it's a finished world and the window represents the open door to the paradise or the new world. Moreover the bird is the symbom of peace.
Thirdly, in the window, I can see the forest, she symbolizes the new world with the wild nature, with no wall, house, man, violence.
I think that the bird will go to the new world.
A column straight organised in left and right side, she are symetrics ( medieval type). She symbolizes the spiritual elevation.
The picture is a mixture between the medieval and modern style.
Finally, they bricks lines are parallels. The ladder represents the separation between the realy world and the paradise (new world).

In conclusion, the target is to put the window in obviousness, in addition it's an abtract picture because the painter mixe landscapes, symbols and effects. That diverts the observer and brings the reflexion on the better world

Merci beaucoup pour le temps que vous allez consacrer à la correction !

The_FD · 01-31-2007, 08:54 AM

Je suis pas sûr d'avoir toujours saisi le sens de ce que tu voulais dire, je te conseille de bien relire pour voir si j'ai fait des contre sens

We may deduce that this document is a picture because it has several painted plans.
As an introduction, I can see an empty land, deserted, that inspires solitude.
First, I can see a low horizon which has different meanings, it doesn't give an impression of possible escape because it leads to bad weather. The sky is transformed into a big stoned wall, like a medieval prison.
Secondly, I can see a strange window in the middle of the wall because it starts on the grass and finishes in the window (in the sky, strange, no ?), it's abstract ! (pas sûr d'avoir compris là...)
The wall seems unbreakable it's a finished world and the window represents the open door to the paradise or the new world. Moreover the bird is the symbol of peace.
Thirdly, in the window, I can see a forest, it symbolizes the new world and a wild nature, with no wall, house, man, violence.
I think that the bird will go to the new world.
A column straight organised in the left and right sides, they are symetric (medieval type). They symbolize the spiritual elevation.
The picture is a mixture between medieval and modern styles.
Finally, bricks lines are parallels. The ladder represents the separation between the real world and the paradise (new world).

In conclusion, the target is to put the window in obviousness, in addition it's an abtract picture because the painter mixes landscapes, symbols and effects. That diverts the observer and brings the reflexion on the better world (pas saisi non plus la dernière phrase)

01-31-2007, 08:54 AM	#2 (permalink)
The_FD flying dancer Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Paris France Posts: 4,284 The_FD is a splendid one to behold The_FD is a splendid one to behold The_FD is a splendid one to behold	Je suis pas sûr d'avoir toujours saisi le sens de ce que tu voulais dire, je te conseille de bien relire pour voir si j'ai fait des contre sens We may deduce that this document is a picture because it has several painted plans. As an introduction, I can see an empty land, deserted, that inspires solitude. First, I can see a low horizon which has different meanings, it doesn't give an impression of possible escape because it leads to bad weather. The sky is transformed into a big stoned wall, like a medieval prison. Secondly, I can see a strange window in the middle of the wall because it starts on the grass and finishes in the window (in the sky, strange, no ?), it's abstract ! (pas sûr d'avoir compris là...) The wall seems unbreakable it's a finished world and the window represents the open door to the paradise or the new world. Moreover the bird is the symbol of peace. Thirdly, in the window, I can see a forest, it symbolizes the new world and a wild nature, with no wall, house, man, violence. I think that the bird will go to the new world. A column straight organised in the left and right sides, they are symetric (medieval type). They symbolize the spiritual elevation. The picture is a mixture between medieval and modern styles. Finally, bricks lines are parallels. The ladder represents the separation between the real world and the paradise (new world). In conclusion, the target is to put the window in obviousness, in addition it's an abtract picture because the painter mixes landscapes, symbols and effects. That diverts the observer and brings the reflexion on the better world (pas saisi non plus la dernière phrase) __________________ L'histoire de la famille Bourdillon Les fêtes d'Hébé The flying dancer dancing
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