Roxie

Bonjour ! J'ai un travail d'expression écrite à rendre pr mardi. Je l'ai fait mais j'aimerai que qqn corrige mes fautes, s'il y en a !

Merci d'avance !

Mon texte:
“Money can’t buy happiness”: this quotation permit us to remember true values of life. It shows that in life, we can’t buy all with money and especially not happiness. In my opinion, happiness is priceless. The joy of being father, being mother or being god mother is something of marvellous in life of someone and that, we can’t buy. It’s true that money make life easier but that is only a component of happiness. We can say that it is a superficial aspect of life. I think that someone who is millionaire can be as happy as someone who earns $ 8 a day. It’s enough of make what we like and be surrounded by people who we love so as to happy. In the society in which we live, we believe that to be happy, it is always necessary to buy more and with this mentality, people doesn’t know really that happiness means.

The_FD

Voilà quelques corrections, peut-être que d'autres en rajouterons

can't Money buy happiness� (si c'est une question inversion sujet verbe) this quotation let us remember true values of life. It shows that in life, we can't buy everything with money and especially not happiness. In my opinion, happiness is priceless. The joy of being father, being mother or being god mother is something marvellous in someone's life and we can't buy it. It's true that money makes life easier but that is only a component of happiness. We can say that it is a superficial aspect of life. I think that someone who is millionaire can be as happy as someone who earns $ 8 a day. It's enough to make what we like and to be surrounded by people we love, so as to be happy. In the society in which we live, we believe that it is necessary to buy always more to be happy, and with this mentality, people don't really know what happiness means.

__________________
L'histoire de la famille Bourdillon
Les fêtes d'Hébé
The flying dancer dancing

Roxie

Merci bcp !! c'est super sympa

femuse

Very good "The_FD"

a few points:

“Money can’t buy happiness” is the correct quotation

this quotation reminds us of what life is all about

in life: the opposit being in death :D , I would skip the "in life"

being a father, etc ... a for all

who is a millionaire

enough to make what we like : commun mistake, it's to do

to buy always more : to always buy more

Briant

“Money can’t buy happiness”: this quotation permits us to remember true values of life. It shows that in life, we can’t buy everything with money, especially not happiness. In my opinion, happiness is priceless. The joy of being a father, being a mother or being a god mother is something [deleted "of"] marvellous in life [deleted "of" and rearrainged it] and something that we can’t buy. It’s true that money makes life easier, but that is only a component of happiness. We can say that it is a superficial aspect of life. I think that someone who is millionaire can be as happy as someone who earns $ 8 a day. [I would reverse this sentence for style purposes and write "I think that someone who earns $ 8 a day can be as happy as someone who is a millionaire."] It’s enough of make what we like [I think here you mean It's enough to do what we like.] and be surrounded by people who we love so as to happy. In the society in which we live, we believe that to be happy, it is always necessary to buy more and with this mentality, people don't know really[would say"don't really know"] what happiness means.

I bolded the changes.

Briant

I forgot to note that you have a space between your $ and 8. and that this sentence. "and to be surrounded by people who we love so as to happy," should have the "to" in it that I added.

femuse

and what's wrong with that?? It's done quite often.

Quote:

permits us to remember

very clumsy. let us remember OR reminds us of : both were correct.

Quote:

true values of life.

incorrect
It shows that in life: extra, useless word

and especially not happiness.

Quote:

is something marvellous in life

something marvellous in someone's life was OK

Quote:

something that we can’t buy.

and it cannot be bought

someone who is a millionaire

Quote:

people who we love so as to happy

The_FD had it mostly right:

"It's enough to do what we like and to be surrounded by people we love, so as to be happy. "

or, I would say: It's enough to do what we like and to be surrounded by people we love. It's enough to make us happy.