Cover letter, could you check it please?

karim09 · 10-11-2005, 07:49 AM

Hello,
I would like to know if you can check my cover letter?
No especially the content but the grammar and syntax because english is not my mother tongue so I am not sure that it is correct!

Thank you in advance!

Quote:

I will graduate in July 2006 from the University of Technology of Belfort-Montbeliard, France, with a French engineer degree (equivalent to a master) in Industrial Engineering.
Since August, I am an exchange student at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST), Daejon, South Korea.

Before graduating, I have to do a six-month-internship, starting on January 2006.
My fields of interest are technical, like products industrialization or production management, but also cover other areas, like purchasing, logistics or project management.

I really appreciate Korea and the Korean culture, and therefore I would like to do my internship in this country.
I know that [COMPANY] has a strong activity in Korea and that is I propose you my collaboration.

My previous internships and jobs allowed me to develop my relational skills with people exerting various jobs (engineers, financial, working...) and my stay in Korea enables me to adapt to various cultures.
I am convinced that my strong technical education in Industrial Engineering, coupled to these capacities of adaptation and communication will enable me to successfully carry out the missions that you will entrust to me and to be quickly operational.

I look forward to the opportunity to interview with you at your earliest convenience to discuss how my educational credentials and specific experience are suitable requisites for opportunities at [COMPANY].
Feel free to contact me at the number or email listed above.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

With best regards,

raiisha · 10-11-2005, 12:59 PM

I will be graduating in July 2006 from the University of Technology of Belfort-Montbeliard, France, with a French Engineering Degree (equivalent to a master) in Industrial Engineering.
Since August, I am an exchange student at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST), Daejon, South Korea.(WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY EXCHANGE STUDENT?)
Before going for my graduation, I have to do a six-month internship, starting as from January 2006.
My fields of interest are technical,for instance, products of industrialization or production management, but also cover other areas, like purchasing, logistics or project management(I didn't understand the idea you want to convey here)

I really appreciate Korea as well as Korean culture which have always fascinated me and therefore, I would like to do my internship in this country.
[COMPANY] is well-known in Korea being involved in many activities and as such, I would very much like to offer my technical know-how to you.
My previous internships and jobs has led me to developing relational(YOU MEAN COMMUNICATION SKILLS?) skills with people practising different jobs (engineers, financial, working...) and my stay in Korea enabled me to adapt to various cultures.(YOU MEAN YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN IN KOREA?)I am convinced that my strong technical education in Industrial Engineering, coupled with these capacities of adaptation, communication and perseverance will enable me to successfully carry out the tasks that you will entrust to me.

I am looking forward to discuss with you as soon as possible about my educational credentials and specific experience which will undoubtedly benefit [COMPANY].
Feel free to contact me at the number or email listed above.

J'ai essayé de corriger les erreurs bien que j'ai modifié quelques trucs mais j'ai pas bien compris certaines choses(ceux que j'ai mises en rouge)

karim09 · 10-11-2005, 01:12 PM

Tout d'abord, merci beaucoup!

Alors ce que vous n'avez pas compris:

Quote:

Since August, I am an exchange student at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST), Daejon, South Korea.

En fait, je suis en corée depuis le mois d'aout et je fais un semestre d'échange au KAIST. Au lieu d'étudier dans mon école en france, j'étudie la bas.

Quote:

My previous internships and jobs has led me to developing relational(YOU MEAN COMMUNICATION SKILLS?)

Yes, communication skills. Maybe it is better if I put communication skills instead of relational.

Quote:

My fields of interest are technical,for instance, products of industrialization or production management, but also cover other areas, like purchasing, logistics or project management(I didn't understand the idea you want to convey here)

In fact, I want to say that I am intersted by technical subjects, like industrialzation, but also by others fields wich are less technocal, like logistics etc.

Quote:

YOU MEAN YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN IN KOREA?)

Yes, as explained just above, at the moment, I am in Korea.

Thank you for your help!!!

raiisha · 10-12-2005, 02:14 AM

Oui maintenant je comprend ce que vous voulez dire...Je corrigerai les erreurs cet apres-midi coz i am going to school right now.

raiisha · 10-12-2005, 01:51 PM

I will be graduating in July 2006 from the prestigious University of Technology of Belfort-Montbeliard, France, with a French Engineering Degree (equivalent to a master) in Industrial Engineering.
Since August, I am an exchange student at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST), Daejon, South Korea.
Before going for my graduation, I have to do a six-month internship, starting as from January 2006.
My fields of interest are mainly technical,for instance, products of industrialisation or production management including purchasing, logistics or project management.
I really appreciate Korea as well as Korean culture which have always fascinated me and therefore, I would like to do my internship in this country.
[COMPANY] is well-known in Korea being involved in many activities and as such, I would very much like to offer my technical know-how to you.
My previous internships and jobs have led me to developing communication skills with people practising different jobs (engineers, financial, working...) and my stay in Korea enabled me to adapt to the various cultures there. I am convinced that my strong technical education in Industrial Engineering, coupled with these capacities of adaptation, communication and perseverance will enable me to successfully carry out the tasks that you will entrust to me. I will serve the (company) to the very best of my ability.

I am looking forward to discuss with you as soon as possible about my educational credentials and specific experience which will undoubtedly benefit [COMPANY].
Feel free to contact me at the number or email listed above.

J'espere que ca t'ira maintenant... Bonne chance.

karim09 · 10-12-2005, 02:36 PM

Hello!
Yes, super, merci beaucoup de ton aide!!!

karim09 · 10-12-2005, 03:59 PM

Bon, encore une petite question

Je vous voudrais rajouter ça:

Quote:

I demonstrated that in my previous internship at the xxx Company by leading a project which brought a US$ 190000 financial profit at its end.

Cela te semble correct niveau grammatical et syntaxique?
Et je pensais remplacer

Quote:

My fields of interest are mainly technical,for instance, products of industrialisation or production management including purchasing, logistics or project management.

par

Quote:

My fields of interest are numerous, for instance, products industrialization, logistics, production management, purchasing or project management.

, est ce que ma proposition est bien construite?

Merci d'avance!

10-11-2005, 12:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
raiisha Senior International Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Mauritius Posts: 143 raiisha is an unknown character at this point	Hello I will be graduating in July 2006 from the University of Technology of Belfort-Montbeliard, France, with a French Engineering Degree (equivalent to a master) in Industrial Engineering. Since August, I am an exchange student at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST), Daejon, South Korea.(WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY EXCHANGE STUDENT?) Before going for my graduation, I have to do a six-month internship, starting as from January 2006. My fields of interest are technical,for instance, products of industrialization or production management, but also cover other areas, like purchasing, logistics or project management(I didn't understand the idea you want to convey here) I really appreciate Korea as well as Korean culture which have always fascinated me and therefore, I would like to do my internship in this country. [COMPANY] is well-known in Korea being involved in many activities and as such, I would very much like to offer my technical know-how to you. My previous internships and jobs has led me to developing relational(YOU MEAN COMMUNICATION SKILLS?) skills with people practising different jobs (engineers, financial, working...) and my stay in Korea enabled me to adapt to various cultures.(YOU MEAN YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN IN KOREA?)I am convinced that my strong technical education in Industrial Engineering, coupled with these capacities of adaptation, communication and perseverance will enable me to successfully carry out the tasks that you will entrust to me. I am looking forward to discuss with you as soon as possible about my educational credentials and specific experience which will undoubtedly benefit [COMPANY]. Feel free to contact me at the number or email listed above. J'ai essayé de corriger les erreurs bien que j'ai modifié quelques trucs mais j'ai pas bien compris certaines choses(ceux que j'ai mises en rouge)
(Offline)

10-12-2005, 02:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
raiisha Senior International Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Mauritius Posts: 143 raiisha is an unknown character at this point	Hello Oui maintenant je comprend ce que vous voulez dire...Je corrigerai les erreurs cet apres-midi coz i am going to school right now.
(Offline)

10-12-2005, 01:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
raiisha Senior International Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Mauritius Posts: 143 raiisha is an unknown character at this point	Coucou I will be graduating in July 2006 from the prestigious University of Technology of Belfort-Montbeliard, France, with a French Engineering Degree (equivalent to a master) in Industrial Engineering. Since August, I am an exchange student at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST), Daejon, South Korea. Before going for my graduation, I have to do a six-month internship, starting as from January 2006. My fields of interest are mainly technical,for instance, products of industrialisation or production management including purchasing, logistics or project management. I really appreciate Korea as well as Korean culture which have always fascinated me and therefore, I would like to do my internship in this country. [COMPANY] is well-known in Korea being involved in many activities and as such, I would very much like to offer my technical know-how to you. My previous internships and jobs have led me to developing communication skills with people practising different jobs (engineers, financial, working...) and my stay in Korea enabled me to adapt to the various cultures there. I am convinced that my strong technical education in Industrial Engineering, coupled with these capacities of adaptation, communication and perseverance will enable me to successfully carry out the tasks that you will entrust to me. I will serve the (company) to the very best of my ability. I am looking forward to discuss with you as soon as possible about my educational credentials and specific experience which will undoubtedly benefit [COMPANY]. Feel free to contact me at the number or email listed above. J'espere que ca t'ira maintenant... Bonne chance.
(Offline)

10-12-2005, 02:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
karim09 Junior Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: South Korea Posts: 6 karim09 is an unknown character at this point	Merci! Hello! Yes, super, merci beaucoup de ton aide!!!
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