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Old 01-05-2011, 10:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Lettre de motivation stage

Bonjour à tous,

Voilà pouvez-vous corriger ma lettre de motivation ci-dessous (et me dire ce qui ne va pas). Précisions : la lettre est destinée à des entreprises allemandes. C'est pourquoi la dernière phrase du 3 paragraphe est présente. Si vous avez une meilleure manière de formuler mon idée...

Merci encore pour votre aide!!!


Job application

My unique mix of previous work experience and my status as a Paris 8 - Institute of European Studies business student in my first year of Master studying international trade, make me an ideal candidate for an internship with your Company.

My experience in export manager with Alta Care Laboratoires (Roma) and more recently with Food Valley Trading (Piacenza), but also as an assistant exploitation with DHL, combined with my courses in international trade, have convinced me that hospitality sales, and even marketing, is a career option I would like to explore.

More importantly, an internship with you would be mutually beneficial. Your company has an excellent reputation for customer satisfaction, and I know that the combination of my experience, education, and motivation to excel will make me an asset to your sales department. Furthermore, even if I don’t speak German fluently, you will be comfortably able to rely on my level in English, Italian and above all French.

I look forward to talking with you regarding opportunities with your firm.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours Faithfully
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Old 01-07-2011, 10:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
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just a few tweaks..

My unique mix of previous work experience and my status as a "Paris 8 - Institute of European Studies" business student in my first year of studying for a Masters in international trade, make me an ideal candidate for an internship with your Company.

My experience was as an export manager with Alta Care Laboratoires (Roma) and more recently with Food Valley Trading (Piacenza) and also as an exportation assistant with DHL, combined with my courses in international trade, have convinced me that hospitality sales, and even marketing, is a career option I would like to explore.

More importantly, an internship with you would be mutually beneficial. Your company has an excellent reputation for customer satisfaction, and I know that the combination of my experience, education, and motivation to excel will make me an asset to your sales department. Furthermore, even though I don’t speak German fluently, you will be able to comfortably rely on my level in English, Italian and above all French.

I look forward to talking with you regarding opportunities with your firm.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours Faithfully
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Old 01-07-2011, 04:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you very much
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