Could you help me to find my mistakes... Thanks

arnaudoooo · 10-31-2009, 04:53 PM

Hi,

I would like to have your opinion on this little essay I made about the movie "Gandhi". And if you could help me to correct the mistakes I made (there are always!) it would be very nice.
I thank you in advance.

The film begins with the assassination of Gandhi, followed at once by a very representative scene of what Gandhi incarnated for India and besides for the whole world. Indeed in this scene we can streets crowed by thousands of mourners, making it clear that with Gandhi's death it is a whole country that was affected. So we may wonder why this “Great Soul”, nicknamed Mahatma was a symbol for an entire country. Let us try to figure this out in two times.

First Gandhi was a man of ideas who was not frightened to rise against British settlers, authorities for each people to be equal in regard to the law. Gandhi was a man who made his ideas come first and that is probably why he was so respected: let us remind the scene where he was ready to break up his marriage just because his wife did not want to clean the latrines. He wanted to combat against the system of casts by for instance making everybody - in particularly the Untouchables, which means his wife - clean the latrines. To my mind this scene is the more relevant of Gandhi's determination and strength.

Then Gandhi developed in parallel a method of action based on the principles of courage, nonviolence and trust called Satyagraha. He believed that the way people behave is more important than what they achieve. Satyagraha promoted nonviolence and civil disobedience as the most appropriate methods for obtaining political and social aims. Using Satyagraha’s principles he led the campaign for Indian independence from Britain. Gandhi was arrested many times by the British for his activities in South Africa and India but this former one did not car because he was convinced that it was honorable to go to jail for a just cause.

These two points are to me the more representative of Gandhi's struggle: a nonviolence struggle for equality.

arnaudoooo · 11-01-2009, 09:32 PM

Bonsoir,

Est-ce que "First" et "Then", ça fait pas un peu lourd ?? Sinon, est-ce que "in parallel", ça se dit.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses et si vous avez d'autres corrections à me suggérer, je vous en remercie d'avance.

Bonne soirée

Tunisialoveuz · 11-01-2009, 10:19 PM

Coucou, first and then c'est pas trop lourd. Au contraire, ça montre que le développement se compose de 2 parties. Que veux-tu dire par "followed at once"?

Tunisialoveuz · 11-01-2009, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arnaudoooo

Hi,

I would like to have your opinion on this little essay I made about the movie "Gandhi". And if you could help me to correct the mistakes I made (there are always!) it would be very nice.
I thank you in advance.

The film begins with the assassination of Gandhi, followed at once by a very representative scene of what Gandhi incarnated for India and (besides) beyond for the whole world. Indeed in this scene we can streets crowed by thousands of mourners, making it clear that with Gandhi's death it is a whole country (that was) which isaffected. So we may wonder why this “Great Soul”, nicknamed Mahatma was a symbol for an entire country. Let us try to figure this out in two times.

First Gandhi was a man of ideas who was not frightened to rise against British settlers, authorities for each people to be (equal in regard to the law) on an equal foot towards the law. Gandhi was a man who made his ideas come first and that is probably why he was so respected: let us remind the scene where he was ready to break up his marriage just because his wife did not want to clean the latrines. He wanted to combat against the system of casts by for instance making everybody - in particularly the Untouchables, which means his wife - clean the latrines. To my mind this scene is the more relevant of Gandhi's determination and strength.

Then Gandhi developed in parallel a method of action based on the principles of courage, nonviolence and trust called Satyagraha. He believed that the way people behave is more important than what they achieve. Satyagraha promoted nonviolence and civil disobedience as the most appropriate methods for obtaining political and social aims. Using Satyagraha’s principles he led the campaign for Indian independence from Britain. Gandhi was arrested many times by the British for his activities in South Africa and India but this former one did not care because he was convinced that it was honorable to go to jail for a just cause.

These two points are to me the more representative of Gandhi's struggle: a nonviolence struggle for equality.

arnaudoooo · 11-02-2009, 08:42 PM

Bonsoir,

Merci beaucoup pour tes corrections. Avec "followed at once", je voulais dire suivi tout de suite par la scene... C'est mal traduit ??

Tunisialoveuz · 11-02-2009, 10:29 PM

Coucou, je sais pas. Mais dans le doute, j'aurais mis, "just followed"

skitresul · 11-10-2009, 07:28 PM

What is going on with this forum, Suirebit did you gave up?!
Common people

10-31-2009, 04:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
arnaudoooo Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 4 arnaudoooo is an unknown character at this point	Could you help me to find my mistakes... Thanks Hi, I would like to have your opinion on this little essay I made about the movie "Gandhi". And if you could help me to correct the mistakes I made (there are always!) it would be very nice. I thank you in advance. The film begins with the assassination of Gandhi, followed at once by a very representative scene of what Gandhi incarnated for India and besides for the whole world. Indeed in this scene we can streets crowed by thousands of mourners, making it clear that with Gandhi's death it is a whole country that was affected. So we may wonder why this “Great Soul”, nicknamed Mahatma was a symbol for an entire country. Let us try to figure this out in two times. First Gandhi was a man of ideas who was not frightened to rise against British settlers, authorities for each people to be equal in regard to the law. Gandhi was a man who made his ideas come first and that is probably why he was so respected: let us remind the scene where he was ready to break up his marriage just because his wife did not want to clean the latrines. He wanted to combat against the system of casts by for instance making everybody - in particularly the Untouchables, which means his wife - clean the latrines. To my mind this scene is the more relevant of Gandhi's determination and strength. Then Gandhi developed in parallel a method of action based on the principles of courage, nonviolence and trust called Satyagraha. He believed that the way people behave is more important than what they achieve. Satyagraha promoted nonviolence and civil disobedience as the most appropriate methods for obtaining political and social aims. Using Satyagraha’s principles he led the campaign for Indian independence from Britain. Gandhi was arrested many times by the British for his activities in South Africa and India but this former one did not car because he was convinced that it was honorable to go to jail for a just cause. These two points are to me the more representative of Gandhi's struggle: a nonviolence struggle for equality.
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11-01-2009, 09:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
arnaudoooo Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 4 arnaudoooo is an unknown character at this point	Bonsoir, Est-ce que "First" et "Then", ça fait pas un peu lourd ?? Sinon, est-ce que "in parallel", ça se dit. Merci d'avance pour vos réponses et si vous avez d'autres corrections à me suggérer, je vous en remercie d'avance. Bonne soirée
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11-01-2009, 10:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
Tunisialoveuz Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 89 Tunisialoveuz is an unknown character at this point	Coucou, first and then c'est pas trop lourd. Au contraire, ça montre que le développement se compose de 2 parties. Que veux-tu dire par "followed at once"? __________________ el blad fi 9albi ya bladi
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11-02-2009, 08:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
arnaudoooo Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 4 arnaudoooo is an unknown character at this point	Bonsoir, Merci beaucoup pour tes corrections. Avec "followed at once", je voulais dire suivi tout de suite par la scene... C'est mal traduit ??
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11-02-2009, 10:29 PM	#6 (permalink)
Tunisialoveuz Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 89 Tunisialoveuz is an unknown character at this point	Coucou, je sais pas. Mais dans le doute, j'aurais mis, "just followed" __________________ el blad fi 9albi ya bladi
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11-10-2009, 07:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
skitresul Brand New Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1 skitresul is an unknown character at this point	What is going on with this forum, Suirebit did you gave up?! Common people __________________ Simulateur de credit simulation pret immobilier \| Simulateur credit simulation de pret immobilier \| Simulateur de credit immo
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