Xenor

Bonjour.
Voilà, j'ai fait un petit texte pour un exposé ORAL que je dois faire en anglais et j'aimerais que vous me donniez votre avis sur la traduction que j'ai faite. Je ne cherche pas à avoir une parfaire traduction, juste si les phrases gardent leur sens et si les fautes grammaticales sont évitées. Comme je pensais que ce n'était pas le cas, je me suis dit que vous pourriez m'aider. Je vous pris donc, si possible et ce serait très agréable pour moi, de jeter un petit coup d'oeil à ce qui suit. Bon, c'est certe un peu long mais bon.
Ah oui, je dois faire ça pour vendredi prochain et je dois l'apprendre à peu près par coeur, faite vites svp.



Toshikazu Nagai, alias Bonkura, est né le 5 décembre 1985 à Otsu, au Japon. Cette ville de 330 000 habitants, où il a habitait, se situe dans la région de Kansai, plus précisément à la préfecture de Shiga.
Bonkura était l’un des meilleurs pen spinneurs du monde. Le pen spinning, c’est l’art de jongler avec un stylo. Il a commencé à 13 ans. Son type de sang était A. Son pseudo, Bonkura, vient d’un surnom que ses camarades lui donnaient en première année d’école primaire et signifie “branleur” ou “bon à rien”. Mais il était très intelligent et il était à la Faculté des Lettres, Université de Kyoto.
Son succès déjà grand, il devint vice-président de l’Association Japonaise de Pen Spinning (la PSAJ) et passe plusieurs fois à la télévision.
Sa première apparition fut le 5 mars 2006 où les téléspectateurs virent ses mains et son dos. Il exécuta quelques tricks (figures) et du freestyle (enchaînement improvisé de tricks).
Il apparu encore le 23 juillet 2007 où il effectua du freestyle avec du 2P2H (deux stylos dans ses deux mains) et un combo (enchaînement de tricks pensé à l’avance). Il déclara aussi qu’avec la PSAJ, il souhaitait interagir avec les pen spinneurs du Japon et les spinneurs du monde entier.
Il donna quelques conseils et effectua quelques tricks impressionnants le 20 août 2007 à la télévision japonaise encore.
Enfin, il fut interviewé dans un parc le 7 septembre 2007 et l’émission dit que Bonkura a essayé de spinner avec son téléphone portable et une bouteille en plastique pour trouver de nouvelles choses dans le pen spinning. Il déclara qu’il s’entraînait au moins une heure par jour s’il était trop occupé. Il ajouta qu’il s’entraîner afin d’améliorer ses compétences.
En plus de la difficulté des tricks très impressionnants qu’il effectuait, Bonkura était reconnu pour sa créativité et sa fluidité. Son style stupéfiait tout le monde et il fut un exemple pour la plupart des pen spinneurs. De plus, il inventa beaucoup de tricks et de mods (stylo pour le pen spinning). Certains mods portent son nom. Il était reconnu comme étant le meilleur pen spinneur du monde malgré sa défaite aux championnats du monde de 2007 en demi-finale face à Eriror.
Le 13 septembre 2007, à l’âge de 21 ans, Bonkura mourut d’une crise cardiaque. C’était seulement six jours après sa dernière apparition à la télévision. Quand les spinneurs du monde apprirent cela, tous étaient choqués et émus. Certains ont envoyé leurs condoléances à la famille. Une vidéo nommée “Tribute to Bonkura” circule sur le web et regroupe beaucoup de ses vidéos pour que personne n’oublie le fabuleux pen spinneur qu’était Bonkura, et son slogan
“Spinning Life”.



Toshikazu Nagai, alias Bonkura, was born the 5 of december 1985 in Otsu, in Japan. This city of 330 000 inhabitants, where he lived, is locate in the region of Kansai, most precisely at the prefecture of Shiga.
Bonkura was one of the best pens pinneurs of the world. The pen spinning is l’art to juggle with a pen. He started since 13. His blood type was A. His pseudo, Bonkura, come to a nickname that his schoolfriends gave him in his first year of elementary school and it means “wanker” or “good-for-nothing”. But he was very intelligent and he was at the Faculty of Letters, Kyoto University.
His succes already great, he became vice representative of the Japanese Pen Spinning Association (the PSAJ) and he appeared on television many times.
His first appearence was the 5 of march 2006 and the japanese viewer saw his hands and his back. Bonkura performed some tricks (faces) and freestyles (improvise transition of tricks).
He appeared again the 23 of July 2007 and he performed freestyle with 2P2H (two pens in his two hands) and a combination (transition of tricks think in advance). He declared to that with the PSAJ, he had like to interact with pen spinneurs troughout the Japan and spinneurs all over the world.
He gave advice and performed some tricks impressing the 20 of august 2007 at the television japanese again.
Finally, he was interviewed in a park the 7 of september 2007 and the TV show said that Bonkura tried spinning his cell phone and a plastic bottle so that he could find something in pen spinning. He declared that he practiced pen spinning at least one hour everyday if he was too busy. He added that he had to practice in order to improve his skill.
Moreover the difficulty of the tricks very impressing that he performed, Bonkura was recognise for his creativity and his smoothness. His style amazed all and he was an example for most of pen spinneurs. Moreover, he invented many tricks and mods (pens for the pen spinning). Some mods carry his name. He was recognize how being the best pen spinneur of the world despite his defeat at the world championship of 2007 in semifinal face at Eriror.
The 13 of september 2007, at the age of 21, Bonkura died of a heart failure. It was only six day after his last appearance on the television. When the spinneurs of the world find it, everything was shock and touch. Some sent them condolences at the family. A video call “Tribute to Bonkura” circulate on the web and gather many of his video for that anybody forget the fabulous pen spinneur who was Bonkura, and his slogan “Spinning Life”.



Merci d'avance !

jierbe31

Bonjour,

Voici ta version Revue et corrigée.
Et bonne chance pour ta présentation orale.

Toshikazu Nagai, alias Bonkura, was born on December 5th , 1985 in Otsu, Japan. This city of 330 000 inhabitants, where he lived, is located in the region of Kansai, most precisely at the prefecture of Shiga.
Bonkura was one of the best pen spinners in the world. Pen spinning is the art which consists in juggling with a pen. He started at the age of 13. His blood type was A. His pseudo, Bonkura, comes from a nickname that his schoolmates gave him in his first year at elementary school and it means “wanker” or “good-for-nothing”. But he was very intelligent and he attended the Faculty of Letters, Kyoto University.
Since his success was already great, he became vice-president of the Japanese Pen Spinning Association (the PSAJ) and he appeared on television many times.
He first appeared on March 5th, 2006 and the Japanese viewers saw his hands and his back. Bonkura performed some tricks (figures) and freestyles (improvised sequence of tricks).
He appeared again on July 23rd, 2007 and he performed freestyle with 2P2H (two pens in his two hands) and a combination (sequence of tricks well thought out in advance). He also declared that, with the PSAJ, he wanted to interact with pen spinners throughout Japan and spinners all over the world.
He gave some advice and performed some impressive tricks on August 20th, 2007 on the Japanese television once again.
Finally, he was interviewed in a park on September 7th, 2007 and the TV show said that Bonkura tried spinning his cell phone and a plastic bottle so that he could find something new in pen spinning. He declared that he practised pen spinning at least one hour every day if he was too busy. He added that he had to practise in order to improve his skill.
On top of the difficulty of the very impressive tricks that he performed, Bonkura was recognized for his creativity and his smoothness. His style amazed everyone and he was an example for most pen spinners. Moreover, he invented many tricks and mods (pens for pen spinning). Some mods carry his name. He was recognized for being the best pen spinner in the world despite his defeat at the world championship of 2007 in the semifinal against Eriror.
On September 13th, 2007, at the age of 21, Bonkura died of a heart failure. It was only six days after his last appearance on television. When spinners around the world heard of it, they were all shocked and moved. Some sent their condolences to the family. A compilation of his best videos called “Tribute to Bonkura” is being circulated on the web so that everybody can remember the fabulous pen spinner who Bonkura was and his slogan “Spinning Life”

Xenor

Waou, j'ai carrément le droit à une traduction complète et parfaite !
Milles mercis, tu es vraiment très très sympa. Je te remercie d'avoir pris du temps pour m'aider (ce que tu avais déjà fait d'ailleur d'autres fois lors de mes demandes d'aide).
Merci pour la chance.

jierbe31

Merci pour ton merci, fort sympathique lui aussi.