une correction s'il vous plaît

helene_forever · 12-02-2007, 08:05 PM

j'aurais besoin d'un correction s'il vous plait

My name’s Hellen Huynh. I am fifteen. I have got two brothers and three sisiters. My dad is a farmer and my mother died when she gave birth to my last sister. I have decided to leave Liverpool because there are persecutions religious in my country. My dad has asked me to go lonely in New York to help my family.

Today, i’m leaving Liverpool. We’ll both heartbroken. But i know it’s our only chance.

I’m on board in Liverppol. I’m scared because it’s first time that I’m far in my family. When i get rich, my family can join me.

I’m in steerage. It was the cheapest that I was found. The air in steerage is filthly. The condition is awful. But I must have been impatient to see the end of the journey. I was all the more grightened because I approche Ellis Island.

Today, i have seen th Statue of Liberty. I was very excited because it is soon the end. Now i have to pass through Ellis Island.

On Ellis Island the first test was the “six-second medical exam”. It was very strange because there was a man at the top and he watched our. I have had chance because i got no chalk mark and i went to the Great Hall for interviews. I had to answer a series of questions. And after they said I could stay in America! I’m very enjoy. After a strang reporter have came to ask me too many questions i haven’t knew why she wanted to know my story.

merci d'avance

gsingh · 12-02-2007, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by helene_forever

j'aurais besoin d'un correction s'il vous plait

My name’s Hellen Huynh. I am fifteen. I've got two brothers and three sisters. My dad is a farmer and my mother died when she gave birth to my youngest sister. I've decided to leave Liverpool because of religious persecution in my country. My dad has asked me to go alone to New York to help my family.

Today, I’m leaving Liverpool. We’ll both be heartbroken. But i know it’s our only chance. I’m scared because it’s the first time that I’m far away from my family. When I get rich, they can join me.

I’m in steerage. It was the cheapest I could find. The air in steerage is filthy. The conditions are awful. I cannot wait to see the end of the journey.

I was all the more frightened because I approached Ellis Island. [je ne comprend pas ca]

Today, I have seen the Statue of Liberty. I am very excited because it is soon the end. Now I have to pass through Ellis Island.

On Ellis Island the first test was the “six-second medical exam”. It was very strange because there was a man at the top and he watched us. I was lucky because I got no chalk mark and I went to the Great Hall for interviews. I had to answer a series of questions after which they said I could stay in America! I’m very happy. Afterwards a strange reporter came to ask me too many questions. I didn’t know why she wanted to know my story.

merci d'avance

helene_forever · 12-03-2007, 03:58 PM

merci beaucoup

12-02-2007, 08:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
helene_forever Growing Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 12 helene_forever is an unknown character at this point	une correction s'il vous plaît j'aurais besoin d'un correction s'il vous plait My name’s Hellen Huynh. I am fifteen. I have got two brothers and three sisiters. My dad is a farmer and my mother died when she gave birth to my last sister. I have decided to leave Liverpool because there are persecutions religious in my country. My dad has asked me to go lonely in New York to help my family. Today, i’m leaving Liverpool. We’ll both heartbroken. But i know it’s our only chance. I’m on board in Liverppol. I’m scared because it’s first time that I’m far in my family. When i get rich, my family can join me. I’m in steerage. It was the cheapest that I was found. The air in steerage is filthly. The condition is awful. But I must have been impatient to see the end of the journey. I was all the more grightened because I approche Ellis Island. Today, i have seen th Statue of Liberty. I was very excited because it is soon the end. Now i have to pass through Ellis Island. On Ellis Island the first test was the “six-second medical exam”. It was very strange because there was a man at the top and he watched our. I have had chance because i got no chalk mark and i went to the Great Hall for interviews. I had to answer a series of questions. And after they said I could stay in America! I’m very enjoy. After a strang reporter have came to ask me too many questions i haven’t knew why she wanted to know my story. merci d'avance
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12-03-2007, 03:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
helene_forever Growing Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 12 helene_forever is an unknown character at this point	merci beaucoup
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