lovenglish

Hi everybody !!

Est-ce que quelqu'un aurait la gentillesse de me corriger svp?

Thank you very much ! don’t hesitate to cross out, add or change any sentences. Besides, if you have other ideas , I would like you to tell me .

Modern technology enables anyone to invade people’s privacy. Does this worry you?

Nowadays, we can be located or filmed whenever we are. The “person” responsible ? Modern technology. Indeed , it is from now on pervasive and it’s an integral part of our life .However, do we even so have to go along with it ? Are there really good reasons for worrying ?
First, we will try to determine to what extent modern technology can be dangerous for our privacy. Then ,we will try to see the good sides.

Usually, we tend to see the sunny side of things about progress. Nevertheless, there also can be drawbacks . The internet is the archetypal place of vices .Indeed, that ‘s where we are the most exposed to risks . It is not unusual toto come upon some bad characters such as deviates, pedophiles or even hackers. That’s something to be paranoid since we’re not safe in our own house !
Moreover, we are spied even outside be it in the streets or in the shops by cameras. We may be filmed in the fitting rooms and then the video is put in the internet . Who knows? Our freedom is illusory : we are locked up being outside (tt en étant).
Not content with invading our free time , modern technology also takes our place in the working world. The machines in factories are replacing us and we are reduced to (en etre reduit a faire qqch) find another job.

Despite all these numerous inconvenients, modern technology is as well handy. It turns out to be useful in the computing domain ( le domaine informatique). Effectively , we can do some search ( faire des recherches) of any type ( “de toute sorte” :kind , sort, type quel est le plus idiomatique ?) and meet a infinite number of ( an infinity of) people, which permits to open up much more.
Furthermore , as far as surveillance cameras ( cameras de surveillance) are concerned ,we are all the more protected because they dissuade the criminals from trespassing ( committing offences), which guarantees us an abiding security.

Thus, we reach the conclusion that modern technology can be benificial if it doesn’t go beyond some bounds. However, I’m worried all the same because technology progress from day to day and we have no choice but to accept it .
Thanks

jierbe31

Bonsoir,

Corrections (rares) balisées en majuscules.
(0) signale une ou des supressions.

Modern technology enables anyone to invade people’s privacy. Does this worry you?

Nowadays, we can be located or filmed whenever we are. The responsible ONE (0) ? Modern technology. Indeed, it is from now on pervasive and it’s an integral part of our life. However, do we even so have to go along with it ? Are there really good reasons (0) TO worry ABOUT ?
First, we will try to determine to what extent modern technology can be dangerous for our privacy. Then, we will try to see the good sides.

Usually, we tend to see the sunny side of things about progress. Nevertheless, there (0) can also be drawbacks . The internet is the archetypal place of vices. Indeed, that ‘s where we are the most exposed to risks. It is not unusual to come upon some bad characters such as deviaNTS(?)/PERVERTS(?), pedophiles or even hackers. That’s something to be paranoic(?) since we’re not safe in our own house !
Moreover, we are spied even outside, be it in the streets or in the shops by cameras. We may be filmed in the fitting rooms and then the video is put On the internet . Who knows? Our freedom is illusory : we are locked up ALTHOUGH WE'RE outside (tt en étant).
Not content with invading our free time, modern technology also takes our place in the working world. (0) Machines in factories are replacing us and we are reduced to (en etre reduit a faire qqch) find another job.

Despite all these numerous inconvenienCEs, modern technology is as well handy. It turns out to be useful in the computing domain ( le domaine informatique). Effectively, we can do some REsearch ( faire des recherches) of any KIND ( “de toute sorte” :kind , sort, type quel est le plus idiomatique ?) and meet aN infinite number of ( an infinity of) people, which permits to open up much more.
Furthermore, as far as surveillance cameras ( cameras de surveillance) are concerned, we are all the more protected because they dissuade (0) criminals from trespassing ( committing offences), which guarantees us an abiding security.

Thus, we reach the conclusion that modern technology can be benificial if it doesn’t go beyond some bounds. However, I’m worried all the same because technology progressES from day to day and we have no choice but (to) accept it .
Thanks

lovenglish

Bonsoir,

TRIS repetita... ;-D
Merci beaucoup beaucoup pour ton aide !!
J'écris aussi car je suis très étonnée qu'il y ait aussi peu de fautes (et moi qui étais sûre d'avoir enchaîner faute sur faute!) .C’est pourquoi j’aimerais être certaine sur certains points en rapport avec cette rédaction si bien sûr tu n’y vois pas d’inconvénients. Je te remercie d’avance.


1) Comment on dit un responsable ? Le Nom ne parait pas exister en anglais sauf "responsable person " mais ici c'est la technologie moderne qui l'est.
2) Comment dit-on "Devons-nous l'accepter pour autant?"
4) Traduction pour « jusqu ‘a quelle point » ?
5) Synonyme de « see » dans : “Then ,we will try to see the good sides”
6) « paranoid » et « deviate » existent… enfin d’après le wordreference
7) traduction pour « il y a de quoi devenir paranoïaque » ?
8) traduction pour « que ce soit à ENDROIT ou à ENDROIT »
9) traduction pour « domaine de l’informatique »
10) on dit « progressES » car 3eme pers non ?

Merci et encore merci

jierbe31

Bonsoir,

1) Comment on dit un responsable ? Le nom ne parait pas exister en anglais sauf "responsIble person " mais ici c'est la technologie moderne qui l'est.
=> En général pour une personne, on dit the person in charge.
S'agissant d'une technologie ou technique, tu pourrais employer l'adjectif responsible for.

2) Comment dit-on "Devons-nous l'accepter pour autant?"
=> For all that, do we have to accept it?

4) Traduction pour « jusqu'a queL point » ?
=> up to what/which point?

5) Synonyme de « see » dans : “Then ,we will try to see the good sides”
=> examine/analyze

6) « paranoid » et « deviate » existent… enfin d’après le wordreference
=> Amen !

7) traduction pour « il y a de quoi devenir paranoïaque » ?
=> This is bound to make you become paranoiac.

8) traduction pour « que ce soit à ENDROIT ou à ENDROIT »
=> ????????????????????????????

9) traduction pour « domaine de l’informatique »
=> computing domain/field

10) on dit « progressES » car 3eme pers non ?
=> Eh oui ! Ce n'est pas parce que l'infinitif se termine pas -ss qu'il ne faut pas ajouter le fameux S. Mais comme 3 S à la suite c'est impossible, on intercale un E. Tu piges ? Donc c'est bien progresses la forme correcte.

See you.