natasha666

Hello,

As I am since one year in all possible Forums, so I came by accident to the Forum, where members wrote, who is going to be next president of France.
I am not telling who was my favourite, but as a Hobby Astrologer I have seen, that Mr.Sarkozy is going to be next president (that is true: I have done Solar Return for both of them and his Chart has shown to me, what later happened).
Connected with that Forum, I have found stories about two cows: in French and English. I have also in French, but saved somewhere (don’t know, where – in fact original is in French).

TWO COWS:

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. You keep the cows and steal another one. You ignore the government.
ARISTOCRATISM: You have two cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree.
ARTIST -- VISUAL: You have two cows. You stuff them and put them in glass display boxes. In London.
AUSTRALIANISM: You have two cows. You take one to the beach and teach it to surf, then you bung the other one on the barbie, drink some VB, and laugh at the idea of a surfing cow. (from Hannah and Gen)
BRITISH: You have two cows. They are crazy. You try to sell them in Europe.
BRITISH -- MAJOR: You have two cows. One has BSE. You get a vet to give the other one the all clear, and then declare there is no problem from BSE in your country.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. To register them, you fill in 17 forms in triplicate and don't have time to milk them.
BUREAUCRACY -- EUROPEAN UNION: You have two cows. The EU loses one cow, milks the other and then spills the milk.
BUREAUCRACY -- UNITED STATES: You have two cows. The government takes both, loses one while moving it to a farm in Puerto Rico and forgets to milk the other.
CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
CAPITALISM -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. You sell one of them, and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. Then you go into real estate.
CAPITALISM -- HONG KONG You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
CENTRALISM: You have two cows. And a problem finding them in the middle of the field with 100,000,000 other cows.
CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. You lock them up, and charge people to look at them.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE: You don't have any cows. The government sets up a joint venture with McDonald's.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You no longer have any cows. They sailed to Miami. You still have no milk - but you do have Fidel.
COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
COMMUNISM -- SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have
four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk and then blame Japan while border guards beat up Mexicans sneaking into the country. People are outraged for a week or so and then go back to televised sports where there's no violence.
DEMOCRACY -- BRITISH: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
DEMOCRACY -- REPRESENTATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and drafts you.
DRMISM: You have two cows. You sell both of them, but all the milk still belongs to you.
EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two cows. The EU develops a quota system that "limits the gas emissions from flatulent cows." You sell your carbon allotment, not the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes one away and presses it into military service.
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
IDEALISM: You have two cows. You get married and your partner milks them.
LEBANONISM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the government.
LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.
LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You give away one cow and get the government to give you a new cow. Then you give them both away.
LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.
NEW DEALISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.
PLATONISM: You have two cows. You look for two other cows to milk.
PROTECTIONISM: You have two cows. You can't buy a bull from another country.
REDISTRIBUTIONISM: You have two cows. Everyone should have the same amount of cow. The government takes both cows, cuts them up, and spends more than the cows are worth giving everyone a little piece of cow.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.
SOCIALISM -- BUREAUCRATIC: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.
SOCIALISM -- PURE: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
SURREALISM: You have two aardvarks. The government paints one green and requires you to take harmonica lessons.
UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
YEMENISM: You once had a cow. But then it got kidnapped.
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Natasha

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Amour fait beaucoup, mais l'argent fait tout!

aliandmetin

Natasha, he llorado de la risa con esto que has escrito de las vacas! Es muy, muy bueno, jaja! Por cierto, has acertado; Sarkozy es presidente de Francia.
¿Me podrás decir si me casaré con mi querido turco?
Besos

abu_dana

Yes, Natasha that was a good one
I simply died laughing and reading that stuff!!!

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OMNIGLOT; ANCIENT SCRIPTS

hutor04

Nice stuff ))))

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English to Russian Professional Translation

VANESSA447

nice.... i think he's right !!!! i loved it

Clayton Gomes

LOL,
i've alredy read it, but in portuguese (i will look for it and post here)

natasha666

Hello Clayton,

I had it in French as well, but can't find.

It would be very interesting to see, how two cows look like, in Portuguese language.

Natasha

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Amour fait beaucoup, mais l'argent fait tout!