Devoir A Rendre Pour Bts

angelmagali · 06-04-2008, 07:18 AM

Je dois rendre un devoir dans le cadre de mon bts, est que quelqu'un pourrait corriger mes fautes svp? Le but étant d'imaginer un entretien de vente:
- « May I inform you madam ?
- Yes, thank you. In fact, I’m looking for some presents for my children. I have a ten year-old daughter and a three year old son. I want you to show me your best seller. I don’t want to spend too much money, so propose me some cheap clothes.
- Ok. Do you like red color ? Because I have just received a beautiful dress, not expensive, it costs only fifteen euros.
- Yes,I do. Wonderful ! And what about my son ?
- For your son, I think that a flowery shirt and a pair of jeans could be great. Look at this model.
- It’s exactly what I want.
- Would you like to see something else madam ? At the moment, we have a promotion on tee-shirt with long sleeves, would you like to see them ?
- No, thank you. I have all that I need.
- So if you want, Follow me at the till. How do you want to pay ?
- I will pay by credit card, do you need my identity card ?
- No, I don’t.
- How much is it for all the things I have took ?
- Fifty five euros please madam. I give you your till receipt. I hope to see you again in our store. Thank you and have a nice day.
- Bye. »

Tulip Red · 06-04-2008, 05:06 PM

Correction:

- « May I inform you madam ?
- Yes, thank you. In fact, I’m looking for some presents for my children. I have a ten-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. I would like (ça fait moins direct que want qui signifie 'veut' et would like qui signifie 'voudrait')you to show me your best seller. I don’t want to spend too much money, so propose me some cheap clothes, please.
- Ok. Do you like red color ? Because I have just received a beautiful dress, not expensive, it costs only fifteen euros.
- Yes,I do. Wonderful ! And what about my son ?
- For your son, I think that a flowery shirt and a pair of jeans could be great. Look at this model.
- It’s exactly what I want.
- Would you like to see something else madam ? At the moment, we have a promotion on tee-shirts with long sleeves, would you like to see them ?
- No, thank you. I have all that I need.
- So if you want, Follow me to the till. How do you want to pay ?
- I will pay by credit card, do you need my identity card ?
- No, I don’t.
- How much is it for all the things I have taken ?
- Fifty five euros please madam. I give you your till receipt. I hope to see you again in our store. Thank you and have a nice day.
- Bye. »

Voilà

angelmagali · 06-04-2008, 06:53 PM

Merci beaucoyp Tulip Red! Super sympa de ta part. Une dernière chose ce dialogue n'est il pas trop léger pour un niveau BTS a ton avis?

Tulip Red · 06-04-2008, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelmagali

Merci beaucoyp Tulip Red! Super sympa de ta part. Une dernière chose ce dialogue n'est il pas trop léger pour un niveau BTS a ton avis?

C'est quoi en fait le BTS, je ne suis pas en France...

Katie001 · 09-12-2008, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelmagali

Je dois rendre un devoir dans le cadre de mon bts, est que quelqu'un pourrait corriger mes fautes svp? Le but étant d'imaginer un entretien de vente:
- « May I inform you madam ? May I HELP you madam?
- Yes, thank you. In fact, I’m looking for some presents for my children. I have a ten-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son.
I would like you to show me your best sellers. Best seller could mean "meilleur vendeur" ou ce qui vend le plus souvent; en pluriel c'est les chose qui sont vendu le plus vite.
I don’t want to spend too much money, so propose me some cheap clothes. You start rather formal, so avoid the word cheap, use inexpensive instead...eg:I don't want to spend too much money, please suggest some inexpensive clothes?
- Ok. Do you like the color red ? Because I have just received a beautiful dress, not too expensive, it costs only fifteen euros.
- Yes,I do. Wonderful ! And what about my son ?
- For your son, I think that a flowery shirt and a pair of jeans could be great. Look at this model.
- It’s exactly what I want.
- Would you like to see something else madam ? At the moment, we have a promotion on tee-shirts with long sleeves, would you like to see them ?
- No, thank you. I have all that I need.
- So if you want, Follow me to the till/register. How do you want to pay ?
- I will pay by credit card, do you need my identity card/identification ?
- No, I don’t.
- How much is it in total ?
- Fifty five euros please madam. Here is your receipt. I hope to see you again in our store/Please come again. Thank you and have a nice day.
- Bye. »

06-04-2008, 07:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
angelmagali Junior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3 angelmagali is an unknown character at this point	Devoir A Rendre Pour Bts Je dois rendre un devoir dans le cadre de mon bts, est que quelqu'un pourrait corriger mes fautes svp? Le but étant d'imaginer un entretien de vente: - « May I inform you madam ? - Yes, thank you. In fact, I’m looking for some presents for my children. I have a ten year-old daughter and a three year old son. I want you to show me your best seller. I don’t want to spend too much money, so propose me some cheap clothes. - Ok. Do you like red color ? Because I have just received a beautiful dress, not expensive, it costs only fifteen euros. - Yes,I do. Wonderful ! And what about my son ? - For your son, I think that a flowery shirt and a pair of jeans could be great. Look at this model. - It’s exactly what I want. - Would you like to see something else madam ? At the moment, we have a promotion on tee-shirt with long sleeves, would you like to see them ? - No, thank you. I have all that I need. - So if you want, Follow me at the till. How do you want to pay ? - I will pay by credit card, do you need my identity card ? - No, I don’t. - How much is it for all the things I have took ? - Fifty five euros please madam. I give you your till receipt. I hope to see you again in our store. Thank you and have a nice day. - Bye. »
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06-04-2008, 05:06 PM	#2 (permalink)
Tulip Red En Sevgilinin Ümmetinden Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,198 Blog Entries: 27 Tulip Red is a glorious beacon of light Tulip Red is a glorious beacon of light	Correction: - « May I inform you madam ? - Yes, thank you. In fact, I’m looking for some presents for my children. I have a ten-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. I would like (ça fait moins direct que want qui signifie 'veut' et would like qui signifie 'voudrait')you to show me your best seller. I don’t want to spend too much money, so propose me some cheap clothes, please. - Ok. Do you like red color ? Because I have just received a beautiful dress, not expensive, it costs only fifteen euros. - Yes,I do. Wonderful ! And what about my son ? - For your son, I think that a flowery shirt and a pair of jeans could be great. Look at this model. - It’s exactly what I want. - Would you like to see something else madam ? At the moment, we have a promotion on tee-shirts with long sleeves, would you like to see them ? - No, thank you. I have all that I need. - So if you want, Follow me to the till. How do you want to pay ? - I will pay by credit card, do you need my identity card ? - No, I don’t. - How much is it for all the things I have taken ? - Fifty five euros please madam. I give you your till receipt. I hope to see you again in our store. Thank you and have a nice day. - Bye. » Voilà __________________ Filistinliyim, sonuna kadar...
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06-04-2008, 06:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
angelmagali Junior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3 angelmagali is an unknown character at this point	Merci beaucoyp Tulip Red! Super sympa de ta part. Une dernière chose ce dialogue n'est il pas trop léger pour un niveau BTS a ton avis?
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