Odd English !

Shrek · 11-27-2007, 11:28 AM

Let's face it--English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple...

English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Now I know why I flunked my English. it's not my fault but the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going.

tharuka · 01-02-2008, 08:20 PM

whahahahhhaha , thats a good one =D

nopain-nogain · 01-02-2008, 09:27 PM

Quote:

There is no egg in eggplant

But the eggplant really looks like eggs before becoming what we know

kavita01 · 01-09-2008, 04:40 PM

Hey Shrek, Happy New Year to you and everyone else here. See you still got some good jokes hope you get alot more and funnnier ones too. I do look forward to them. Have a great one hun...

11-27-2007, 11:28 AM	#1 (permalink)
Shrek Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 86 Shrek is an unknown character at this point	Odd English ! Let's face it--English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple... English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? Now I know why I flunked my English. it's not my fault but the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going. __________________ Giggle for healthy life More at GigglePedia.com
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01-02-2008, 08:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
tharuka Rawr! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Rotterdam - The Netherlands Posts: 5 tharuka is an unknown character at this point	whahahahhhaha , thats a good one =D __________________ A wise man has long ears , big eyes and a short tongue
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01-09-2008, 04:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
kavita01 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 204 kavita01 is an unknown character at this point	Hey Shrek, Happy New Year to you and everyone else here. See you still got some good jokes hope you get alot more and funnnier ones too. I do look forward to them. Have a great one hun... __________________ Ready to go global? Refer to our Translators for website translation to any language. Get Spanish translation services at spanish translation
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