Stupid computer users

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS ARE PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.

TAKE A LOOK:



Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop
Customer: Ok

Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?

Customer: No

Tech Support: Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?

Customer: No

Tech Support:: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?

Customer: Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'

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Customer: I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message

Tech Support:: Did you install the update?

Customer: No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?

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Customer: I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word

Tech Support: Tell me what you've done

Customer: I typed 'A:SETUP'

Tech Support: Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says

Customer: It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'

Tech Support: Insert the MS Word setup disk

Customer: What?

Tech Support: Did you buy MS word?

Customer: No

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Customer: Do I need a computer to use your software?

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

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Tech Support: Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?

Customer: Wow. How can you see my screen from there?

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Tech Support: What type of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one

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Tech Support: Type 'A:' at the prompt

Customer: How do you spell that?

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Tech Support: What's on your screen right now?

Customer: A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store

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Tech Support:: What operating system are you running?

Customer: Pentium

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Customer: My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion

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Customer: I have Microsoft Exploder

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Customer: How do I print my voicemail?

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Customer: You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print ********, but the computer won't boot properly

Tech Support: What does it say?

Customer: Something about an error and non-system disk

Tech Support: Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?

Customer: No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside

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Tech Support: Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours

Customer: Is that Eastern time?

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Tech Support: What does the screen say now?

Customer: It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'

Tech Support:: Well?

Customer: How do I know when it's ready?

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A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his Computer is faulty

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply

Tech: You'll need a new power supply

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an un********ed DOS command that will fix the problem

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes

10 minutes later

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE

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customer care officer:I need a product identification no.: right now and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust: sure

CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer

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