More Jokes in English

Girl Dreams · 11-13-2007, 09:35 PM

The Importance of Punctuation

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard:
"Woman without her man is nothing".

The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody
thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do
it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody
could have done.

They are coming for Christmas

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your Mom and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
?
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're
sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your
sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my
brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,
"they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."

11-13-2007, 09:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
Girl Dreams Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Paris-and now in saudi (lol)with my family Posts: 114 Girl Dreams is an unknown character at this point	More Jokes in English The Importance of Punctuation An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. They are coming for Christmas A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your Mom and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." ? "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this," She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way." __________________ I am very sad
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