Shrek

Did you hear about the idiot who filled out an employment application? In the blank labeled "Church Preference" he filled in: Red brick.

Did you hear about the idiot who invented the one-piece jigsaw puzzle?

Did you hear about the idiot who made his chickens drink boiling water? He thought they would lay hard boiled eggs.

Did you hear about the idiot who planted Cheerios in his backyard? He thought they were donut seeds.

Did you hear about the Iranian terrorist who switched off the fans of his stolen helicopter because he couldn't stand the draft?

Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel? Halfway across he decided he couldn't make it so he swam back.

Did you hear about the Mexican bricklayer who went crazy trying to lay a cornerstone in a roundhouse.

Did you hear about the Montana moron who went looking for a gas leak with a safety match?

Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees? The next day, the Tennessean was stung by a bee and thought he was pregnant.

Did you hear about the Oklahoma idiot who married an American Indian? They had a baby and wanted to name it to reflect both races. So they called it Running Dummy.

Did you hear about the Omaha mother who got tired of putting name tags on her son's shirts, so she had his name legally changed to "Machine Washable"?

Did you hear about the Puerto Rican secretary who was getting so experienced she could type twenty mistakes a minute?

Did you hear about the rookie Rhode Island cop who gave out twenty-two parking tickets before he found out he was at a drive-in movie?

Did you hear about the stupid Kamikaze pilot?
He flew 57 missions !

Did you hear about the stupid photographer?
He saved burned out lightbulbs for use in his darkroom.

Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player?
His horse drowned . . .

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