Thread: Poems
View Single Post
Old 11-12-2005, 10:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
cisky
Junior
 
cisky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 10
cisky is an unknown character at this point cisky is an unknown character at this point
Default

Chrissy I thank you.
You are very nice to help me.
I understand my grammar error and I can know some synonyms.
I think in italian and i write in english. This is my difficult.
So i think that if I write my poem after your suggesting I rewrite it so like this:

My goodbye to you
few words
polishes eyes
and forced smile
a breath of cold air
for each moment
you turn to see
if my mouth
is still smiling your lack
while my heart
restrains its last shout
because it sees
the sweatest part of itself
going away
You will go back
because thought live
because mind consoles me
also if I wouldn't like
because I wouldn't lose
the moment lovelier
while you are going away
your embracement

Cisky & Chrissy
(Offline)   Reply With Quote