Hi John,
First, I'd like to thank you (this time, it is a "post-help" thanks !) for your corrections / suggestions. You corrected my letter with a very clever approach, I appreciate. Wherever you come from, your "writing style" fully fits me, and I feel close to it, which is the most important by the way. You seem to be a reliable person and whatever your reasons, I thank you for your help.
Thanks to your work, I tried to make several corrections (grammatical and meaning) to improve my original letter. Even if I took all your suggestions in account, sometimes, I tried to change some sentences as I wanted to correct the meaning.
Anyway, hope this letter is better and hope that it will be ok.
Your corrections, made me realize that my CV should have some corrections too, if you feel like helping (…) I can send it by email, in word format, will be easier. If you don't want to leave your email on the forum, here is mine :
pioku2@netcourrier.com.
If you have some comprehension difficulties, let me know the sentence, I will translate into French, but I hope it will not be necessary.
Here is the improved (hope so...) version of the letter :
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to submit my application to the procurement / marketing department of your company.
Thanks to a specific professional and academic background, I specialized in procurement and Marketing after completing an Engineering degree. Indeed, my ability in negotiations and marketing issues, along with my technical background will allow me to quickly and efficiently align myself with the objectives of your company.
Following a first work experience in Marketing and business development at a project management company in Johannesburg, I decided to specialize in purchasing, so I could work as a commercial and business engineer. At XXXXX (Johannesburg), I was given the opportunity to demonstrate my innovative thinking by designing a global information network which efficiently improved information exchanges among project engineers. Involved into the bid/no bid process for national and international markets, I was promoted to expand the market of tenders, as well as the customers and prospects numbers.
Thereafter, I worked in communication space purchasing (6 Millions ¤) and Media planning at XXXXX in YYYYY for a 21 month fixed-term contract. I have demonstrated my strategic ability through several successful advertising campaigns and launches of new vehicles in the XXXXX automotive market. Thanks to efficient commercial negotiations with TV, Channel and Press directors or Media Group managers, I set up new control procedures for investments and enhanced several terms of the purchasing contracts, although I worked with a reduction in budget.
I have a global approach in Procurement, Marketing and Technical issues. My overseas work experiences allowed me to be fluent in French, English and Portuguese which will help me rapidly (re)adapt to the multicultural environment of South Africa. I am fully available for a work trial period to assure you that my application is fully reliable and my involvement in my work will be total.
Enclosed is a copy of my resume.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours sincerely,